Back in 2003, I considered writing my graduate school thesis on “Dinner”. I’d follow four families through their evening meal. They’d be of different racial / ethnic backgrounds, different socioeconomic status, different compositions, and located in different places. I was (and am) very interested in family therapy, so the thesis would address different interactions viewed through the lens of family systems.
I didn’t write it, but I shelved the idea, thinking I might use it later.
Then I studied holistic nutrition, and it occurred to me that exploring the actual content of the dinner – ie, the food – would be fascinating.
Then Michael Pollan came out with Omnivore’s Dilemna, which has a similar premise. Now if I write “Dinner” it will look derivative. Michael, seriously, I thought of it a while ago!
And I think the concept is incredibly relevant. So many of us who have embraced, or who are in the process of embracing, a healthier lifestyle, had to take a serious departure from our family’s approach to food. I grew up in a vegetarian household – and by that I mean hardcore vegetarian, as in only dairy products were consumed. No eggs, no fish, and certainly no chicken or meat. Food was discussed often and extensively, but it was present in the house mainly in the form of (vegetarian) takeout, candy, frozen yogurt and processed foods like cereal and granola bars. I don’t write this to point the finger at my parents, but rather to explain the nutritional landscape of the house I originated in, and why food then became such an important force in my life. The way I ate growing up didn’t support me. If I wanted to feel healthy – emotionally and physically – I had to learn how to nourish myself.
I also want to honor the fact that as adults, our decision to take our health into our own hands is an incredibly powerful and important decision. It shows we value ourselves and we’re willing to put the time into self-care. To me, one of the cornerstones of being an adult is taking responsibility. Finding time to exercise, to shop for fresh, nourishing foods and to cook them from scratch (or relative scratch) is empowering. It’s saying “I’m not relying on someone else – some company that just wants to make a profit, or some restaurant that doesn’t care about me – to throw something together, package it, and drop it on my table. I’m taking matters into my own hands, and I’m going to do what it takes to keep myself well and vital”. And isn’t this what it’s all about? Giving yourself what you need?
Tags: family therapy, food and family dynamics, lose weight, systems therapy, weight loss
yes! Exactly!
I was just talking to my mother this morning about what we ate when I was a child. There aren’t many things I remembered, but the ones I do remember aren’t really things I would include in my diet today – with the exception of New England Boiled-Dinner, which I love. Bearing in mind that my mom had to feed 5 or 6 kids on an extremely limited budget, we ate tuna in cream of chicken soup with peas over toast and a made-up bbq recipe using corned beef from a can, vinegar, brown sugar, ketchup and worstershire sauce on a bun. I remember those things as being absolutely wonderful, but they probably weren’t the best in terms of nutrition. We were just happy to eat, frankly. Which might be part of the reason I’m having weight issues now.
I do recognize that it’s my turn to take care of my own health – and that I have to do that FOR my son. It’s a daunting challenge, but I think I’m up to it. I’m learning all the time.
What a great resource!
;I am impressed with the post. If you can do a youtube video for it. i would watch!
What a great post! I rarely think about the kind of eating I grew up with because I’ve educated myself and learned about healthy eating. THEN, however…..I got married. All the education went out the window. My husband is a meat & potatoes & everything white kind of guy and, while my son is much more adventurous and open-minded, I have, for years, tended to cook for my husband. Recently, however, that came to a screeching halt. I have decided that my health is more important that his meatloaf & mashed potatoes. I have started shopping and cooking for myself again. I will buy the foods for him that he prefers, but he is now cooking those foods for himself. I find that I can’t cook two separate ways without going crazy, so I cook for me. Selfish? Yes. But sometimes we come to a point in our lives when we just have to say ENOUGH.
It is empowering! I never thought of it that way, but so true.