Archive for the ‘humor’ Category

“Me Want Food” – Thoughts on Jenna Maroney’s Weight Gain


2010
06.01

Over the weekend I caught some episodes of 30 Rock on netflix.

I love that show.

Somewhere along the way I missed a few episodes: specifically, the ones in which Jane Krakowski’s character, Jenna Maroney, gains weight after a summer spent eating pizza. While the writers for her show want to use her weight to make fat jokes, Tina Fey’s character is adamant that this won’t change the roles Jenna plays. But after a disastrous disco roller skating sketch where Jenna lands in a sprawl on the floor, she stares up at her live audience and utters the only phrase she can think of to save her: “Me want FOOOOD!”

The audience collapses in laughter. Jenna glows in delight. Soon Jack Donaghy is giving her high-fives in the hallway. People are selling shirts with her caricature on the streets of New York. Jenna loves attention. She decides to remain fat so that she’ll continue to be loved.

I thought this was an interesting concept. Here were some of my reflections:

  • The show addressed the issue of gender inequality in the entertainment industry (with regards to weight) to an extent. Liz Lemon announces she wants to take a stand, demonstrating that fat people (women in particular) don’t need to play “fat roles”, or roles that center around their weight.
  • That said, there are a couple of overweight male writers on the show. Over the course of 30 Rock they’ve been mocked for several things, but never their extra poundage. When Jenna gains weight, one of these writers suggests fat jokes (such as the above referenced “me want food”, and even mentions that Jenna can play a “fat Hillary Clinton”. It would have been easy for either Liz or Jenna to fire a quick snarky comment his way. But they don’t.
  • That said, do we really want equal opportunity mockery?
  • I loved the unexpected twist that Jenna received so much positive attention for her weight gain, rather than disgust.
  • However, why does extra weight mean that she ends up as just another caricature?
  • Yes, I’m overthinking this. I know it’s a comedy. But it’s hard not to notice that the three main women on this show – Liz, Jenna, and Cerie -  are all slim and beautiful (although Tina Fey’s beauty is downplayed) while the male characters range from funny looking to creepy looking to plump to thin to handsome.

Did you see these episodes? What were your thoughts?

Right Now Loving:


2010
05.04

1.  JOHN MASTERS ORGANICS. I just took on the position of their Colorado rep, because I L O V E their stuff. Hair and skin care, 75-100% organic, wildcrafted, harvested in the USA when possible, NOTHING synthetic or toxic. Every ingredient is directly therapeutic to the skin. And soooo luxurious. Try Blood Orange and Vanilla Body Milk, or Honey and Hibiscus Hair Reconstructor. You will become a crackhead for it faster than you can say “cleanse, tone, and moisturize”.

2. UDI’S GLUTEN-FREE BREAD. I don’t think most of us digest gluten well. I notice my belly protrudes after a pasta meal or a bready sandwich. Udi’s, a Colorado company, makes fabulous gluten-free products. They’re a bit more expensive than your standard whole wheat, but sadly, in this day and age, you have to pay if you want healthy, digestible food.

3. SUMMER PLANS. Backpacking. Whitewater rafting. A long weekend in Breckenridge. Strawberry Hot Springs in Steamboat. Concerts at Red Rocks. Cookouts in various Boulder and Denver backyards. I LOVE summer in Colorado.

4. HAPPY HOUR. Boulder’s got to be the happy hour-est town I’ve ever seen. We even have happy hours over the weekend, which is a little confusing to me. My favorite? Boulder Cafe, where you can get sweet, fresh, salty oysters for anywhere from 60 cents to $1 each. It’s surprising how good the seafood is in the mountains! ;) And if you need a weight loss justification, HH is a great way to share a bunch of small snacks without breaking the bank.

5. MOUNTAINS. I don’t like the cold. In the winter, my exercise is confined to a sweaty, steamy yoga room. It’s finally getting nice enough for me to crawl all over the mountains again, and wow, is my booty going to be better for it. Yesterday a mere 40 minute hike left me in a hungry daze. In preparation for a July backpacking trip, my boyfriend and I are going to hike each mountain in town. I will keep you updated. And the updates will be funny, because I am NOT in hiking shape.

Instant and Incredibly Effective Weight Loss Aid – Free!


2010
04.27

Want a recipe for weight gain? Eat out at restaurants. Often. The ubiquitous trans fats, the ginormous portion sizes, and the cheap sweeteners will have you tipping the scale faster than you can say “Double Down”.

But….

  • I don’t know how else to socialize with my friends!
  • I don’t know what else my boyfriend and I can do together for fun!
  • I had a bad day and I want to indulge!
  • I had a good day and I want to indulge!
  • I haven’t tried that new Tibetan-Dutch-Eskimo fusion spot yet!
  • I just tried the new Tibetan-Dutch-Eskimo fusion spot, and I love it, and I MUST go back RIGHT NOW for their momo-rijstaffel-seal sundae!
  • I have no time to cook!
  • I have time to cook but I’m uninspired!

etc, etc, etc.

Never fear. As always, I’m here for you. If you’re trying to lose weight and you need incentive to avoid Applebees and TGI Friday’s, look no further than this collection of the 13 most disgusting food stories of all time. Cooking at home doesn’t just mean you’re empowered to use the most wholesome, organic, local, fresh ingredients possible. It also means no condoms in your french onion soup, and no snakes in your sandwiches.

Even Brad Pitt is grossed out.

Monday, Monday…


2010
04.19

I am starting off the week with a bang, so I only have time for a short post. Two clients. A natural product demo. Emails to return and appointments to schedule. But I wanted to let you know what you’re in store for this week…

Sweet, dark, delicious.

Some of it contains

or

 

and even

It’s organic. It’s fair trade. It’s a giveaway. Wednesday morning through Thursday at midnight. Be there or be

Love,

Your (Fair Trade, Organic) Dealer

In Defense of the Double Down


2010
04.12

Why is this Monday unlike other Mondays? Three days before tax day? Eight days before my anniversary? An archaic pagan holiday celebrating the emergence of tree buds? Nay. It’s the birth of the Double Down, KFC’s latest brainchild.

It’s being called “murder on a bun – except there are no buns“, “The Widowmaker“, and the standard “Heart Attack on a Plate”. The blog world and Twitter are blowing up with images and highly punctuted threats to purchase. With America’s obesity rate already so high, do we really need more bacon and cheese? It’s probably 1500 calories! It’s Atkins gone wild!

Hang on a sec. Back up. Let’s point the finger at the true culprit -  the sandwich’s quality. Let’s distinguish between saturated fat – animal fat, which has been eaten for thousands of years – and trans fat, the artificial fat linked to obesity, diabetes, and a host of other health problems.

This sandwich is composed of chicken, bacon, cheese and the Colonel’s “special sauce”, a term which never fails to arouse my suspicion. Now, we all know that the ingredients are derived from the cheapest possible sources. The meat likely contains hormones, antibiotics, pesticides, and other nasty things you don’t want in your body. The cheese is highly processed.  The sandwich, like most fast food, is probably coated in trans fats – cheap sources of oil, they stay intact for months, in contrast to true oils which go rancid over time. This is not good quality food.

 

Let’s contrast this with the version that would be prepared in my kitchen. I’d use organic bacon, raw cheese,and all-natural chicken and I’d whip up a mayo with olive oil. No special sauce for me! Caloric? Certainly. Toxic? Hardly. The science linking animal fat to heart disease is shoddy and is beginning to be dismantled. My sandwich is just a whole lotta protein and fat. Naturally, you wouldn’t want to eat it every day. Unless you’re a triathlete, you don’t need it. Every once in a while, coming in from a long hike or a few hours of basketball? It wouldn’t kill you.

I’m not an advocate for calorie counting, except as a tool for understanding hunger and satiety. But as a side note, I found these numbers interesting: 560 for KFC’s original version and 460 for the grilled. I always say that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to eating, but on average, 400-500 calories per meal is perfectly acceptable. Depending upon your activity level, it might even be a little low. Weight loss is about a lot of things, including eating enough. An apple at breakfast and a power bar at lunch and a fat-free Lean Cuisine at dinner just isn’t going to cut it over the long term. Ensuring your meals leave you satisfied will prevent you from bingeing on cookies and chips at midnight.

Ok, so my title was a little inflammatory. I’m not defending KFC’s actual Double Down. But admit it…the ingredients sound kind of delicious, don’t they? And prepared with care, love, and attention to health, a homemade Double Down isn’t such a bad thing. Remember, it’s all about the quality.

Right Now Loving…


2010
04.07

Five things I am loving today…

1. Twitter. Ok, ok. Stop laughing. 9weightloss just got on. Following all kinds of interesting folks, health magazines and Andrew Weil’s blog. All the information is a little overwhelming…and I am excited for us to carve out our own little corner of the weight loss universe.

2. The Yoga Pod. My yoga studio in Boulder, CO. I’ve been going at least 3-4x/week for the past year and a half. Sometimes a lot more. Yoga Pod, you are my sweaty sanctuary, my temple of pranayama. When I am slithering  all over my mat, about to pass out, I think I can see God. Or maybe that’s lightheadedness. Thank you Yoga Pod, for taking me into class dark and stressed and spitting me out glowing and mellow.

3. Daily Goods and Miz Fit, two dedicated and lively bloggers, for contributing so much to the health / food / blogger world. And for inviting me to guest post. Stay tuned for my articles next week.

4. WishGarden Herbal Tinctures. They make an appearence in one of the aforementioned articles. Obviously, I love them.  Like me, local to Boulder, CO. Founded 25 years ago by a midwife. You can approach stress from a nutritional, emotional, and spiritual standpoint, and right now I am convinced nothing can touch it like a good herbal concoction can.

5. Busting Loose from the Money Game. I’m recommending it to so many people that I should just become an affiliate. As a psychotherapist, I have read many, many self-help books. This is the only one that’s ever created a huge shift for me in terms of how I perceive money, and the world. Maybe I should talk to him about expanding his franchise. Busting Loose from the Weight Loss Game is a pretty compelling title, don’tcha think?

Happy Birthday Sayre!


2010
03.31

Sayre from Finding My Inner, Thinner Person turned 48 last Thursday. And when I read her post, I was apparently in a weird time warp sort of thing, because I was convinced that today was actually Thursday, March 25. I’ve been having quite a few of those recently. Maybe it’s because I’ve been reading this lifechanging book that addresses quantum physics (in a readable way!!) and money and humanity. And is, I believe, a MUST READ for ANYONE who feels constrained or frustrated by money (which is most of us, I think).

Anyway. Back to Sayre. I want to honor her because she has been a reader of 9weightloss.com from its inception a whole few weeks ago ;) . Her blog is poignant, thought provoking, at times funny, and always honest. Here is what she says about turning 48:

At 28, I had no idea what was happening to my life. I had no goals, no sense of future happiness – I just existed from day to day. I was not happy. I did not have ideas or things I wanted to try. At 48, my mind is bursting with ideas and projects and lots of “let’s see if we can do THIS!”

Go Sayre. It’s your birthday. Or, rather, it was, last week. Accept this bedazzled cartoon as a token of my esteem. :)

Meditation is the Key to Avoiding Illness and Ageing


2008
12.02

chakras
Creative Commons License photo credit: omnos

Want to avoid getting sick this winter? The answer might lie in meditation. Researchers have found that people with an active meditation practice have been found to have higher amounts of antibodies in their bodies, leading to improved immune response and giving them the edge when it comes to fighting off seasonal colds and flu. Along with ramping up the immune system, meditation has been found to balance mood, lose weight, increase the ability to handle pain, and even protect the brain against ageing. Here is a quick introduction to different kinds of meditation:

Zen Meditation: Also known as Zazen, or sitting meditation, is perhaps the most well known of all meditations and is practiced by Zen monks. It involves sitting in a cross–legged position with the hands in a mudra, or prayer gesture and a very straight spine. You breathe deeply from the belly and focus on the the breathing. When thoughts arise you acknowledge them but don’t fixate on them. Let them go and return to the breath. If you wander off into your thoughts come back to the breath. Sometimes it is helpful to have a mantra or special word to repeat or count numbers to keep from thinking. This is one of the simplest kinds of meditation and can be done anywhere.

Walking Meditation: Easier for many people than sitting meditation, walking meditation is just as simple and has the added benefit of exercise. It can be done outdoors or inside. It can involve walking in a pattern–a square or circle, walking a labrynth shape (which is found in many churches and meditation centers), or just free walking outside. It involves keeping the eyes open, focusing on the breath and the body, feeling the ground beneath your feet, and releasing thoughts instead of grabbing them.

Kundalini Yoga: Kundalini Yoga is a physical and meditative discipline, comprising a set of techniques that use the mind, senses and body to create a communication between “mind” and “body”. Kundalini yoga focuses on psycho-spiritual growth and the body’s potential for maturation, giving special consideration to the role of the spine and the endocrine system.  It consists of kriyas, which are sets of exercises that help to balance the body and the mind, and different meditations that involve music, mantras, mudras, and visualization. These meditations range from ‘Meditation for Prosperity’ to ‘Meditations for Peace’. They can last anywhere from between 5 minutes to several hours and some have even been adopted by psychotherapists, after rigorous clinical trials, into the treatments of obsessive-compulsive disorder and chemical addictions. Here is a list of popular kriyas and meditations, though finding kundalini classes in your community is highly recommended.

Although these are tried and true ways of engaging in a healthy meditation program, don’t overlook other forms of meditation–running, singing, dancing, driving, even chopping vegetables–almost anything can be turned into a meditation practice if it involves attention, mindfullness, and paying attention to the breath and to disengaging our selves from our thoughts.

Studio Buddha
Creative Commons License photo credit: geishaboy500


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